Have you and your husband ever had a wake-up call in your relationship? Have you experienced that sobering moment when you realized you are no longer the same couple you were in the dating and newlywed years? One day, you and your spouse-to-be were the best of friends and couldn't wait to get married and be together. And then, sooner or later, the day came when you wondered, "What happened? How did we get here?"
Well, my friend, life happened. Life came along with all its ups and downs, trials and triumphs, and your marriage experienced a few bumps along the way. And before you knew it, the close intimacy and friendship you two once had seemed lost.
So what's the solution? Your spouse's friendship is the greatest treasure you possess, after your relationship with God, and must be tended to.
To begin, refocus your heart on your marriage and your spouse. Pray for one another daily - for your roles and responsibilities to each other and to your family. As you begin to pray, you are essentially asking God to remind you and your spouse of four areas of a healthy, godly marriage:
- Your physical relationship (Ephesians 5:31)
- Your intellectual relationship (I Peter 3:7)
- Your emotional relationship (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
- Your spiritual relationship (Romans 8:17).
Beyond prayer, what else can you do to get back to those best-friends-forever days? Getting back to those early days in your relationship may simply be a matter of remembering the fundamentals. Think back to the beginning and what you did to nurture your relationship with your spouse-to-be. Write down a list of common interests and goals as a couple. Then make a plan to do some of these activities again. Prioritize time alone together, and best of all, have fun together!
Purpose in your heart to cultivate friendship and intimacy in your marriage. Intentionally build the kind of relationship where you say of one another, “This is my beloved, and this is my friend” (Song of Solomon 5:16).
God, you can make all things new – including my friendship with my spouse. As You renew us individually day by day, may our relationship also experience new life as we follow You.
Think back on the days when you and your spouse were courting. What did you do to nurture your relationship? Take a moment to write a list, then make a commitment to do some of these activities again—the activities that helped you to become best friends.
After your friendship with God, your spouse’s friendship is the greatest treasure you possess.