Not long after Jim and I were married, we realized we had a longing for many of the same things a lot of other newlywed couples long for. Besides having fun together, we wanted good jobs, a good income, a new car, and an exciting lifestyle—and, of course, the funds to finance them. However, as time went on and we achieved these goals, we began to wish for more. Specifically we began to wish for a terrific home to own. Within eight years of marriage, we had all of these things. Life was good. Then we realized the error in our focus.
Because of the temporary nature of our possessions, Jesus tells us exactly where we should place our focus.
But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:20-21).
Where is your focus? Where is your “treasure”? Put another way, what occupies your thoughts and time? The goal is to make sure your first loyalties—your priority heart commitments—are on the right things, the things that cannot fade away, the things that can never be stolen, the things that cannot wear out (and are never out of fashion!). In short, the things that last—the things that are eternal.
God created marriage. In His perfect wisdom, He designed man and woman to complement each other and to enjoy a permanent and complete union with each other. In Genesis 2:18 He said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” After the Lord created Eve, He then said, “A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his spouse, and they shall become one flesh.”
When you take time to nurture this oneness with your spouse, you bring honor to God and acknowledge His ideal design. As you love your marriage partner, you are showing love and obedience to God as well. And as an incredible result, you’ll experience the fullness and blessings that God designed for a married couple to enjoy! Take time now. Set aside five minutes and pray, “Lord, how can I express my love today?” Then write down every way you can think of to tell your honey, “I love you.”
“Nurturing oneness” in your marriage should be something you think and pray about every day. Make it a priority to find new ways to show your love.
L ove your spouse unconditionally. Your love cannot be cause-and-effect in nature, with an attitude of “if he/she does this, I’ll do that.” Love does not keep records (1 Corinthians 13:5). It gives, expecting nothing in return.
O rder your priorities. Next to your love for God, you are to love your spouse. They are to be your highest human priority. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his spouse” (Genesis 2:24). What have you done lately that would make your spouse know they are your Number-One human priority?
V alue the many sterling qualities in your spouse. Your spouse married you, so they definitely have a lot going for them! Praise your spouse often, and praise them publicly. One husband said this to his spouse before a whole city: “Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all” (Proverbs 31:29).
E njoy the spouse of your youth—sexually, physically, and as a best friend. Your spouse, and your spouse alone, is to be the love of your life. Never let your eyes wander (Proverbs 5:15-19). Your vow to love your spouse was a covenant made with God and with them (Proverbs 2:17). So keep it!
Dear Lord, may we look at our treasures with clear eyes that can discern the temporary from the eternal. May we pursue those treasures that will last forever! Amen.
RENEWING RESOURCES:A Couple After God’s Own Heart—Enrich your marriage and learn the essentials for enjoying life together by developing better ways to communicate. This book for couples will help you draw upon God for unity and strength.
Where is your focus? Where is your “treasure”? What occupies your thoughts and time?
By God’s grace we can live a life filled with Jesus Christ and have goals centered around eternity and eternal values.