Making Time for Fun in Your Marriage

Is it possible that you and your spouse need have some fun? To be more playful? To get out there and do something enjoyable together? The married couple described in Song of Solomon were madly and passionately in love. And it was of her husband, the person she walked and visited and played with and had fun with, that this wife said, “This is my beloved, and this is my friend” (Song of Solomon 5:16).

How’s your friendship with your beloved? Are you purposefully and willfully making time for fun? Here are several ideas to help kick-start good times again.

Plan one fun activity a week.

Someone needs to be in charge of the Fun Department, and maybe that someone can be you! Begin your stint as the chief organizer of your fun-as-a-couple time by planning one activity per week. It doesn’t have to cost a lot—or even cost anything. All you have to do is be creative.

Can you go bike riding with a picnic in your backpacks? Or what about getting up early on a Saturday for a walk on the beach? See how many things you can come up with for fun that cost little or nothing (once in a while do something fun that costs a little—something you’ve saved up for). Keep a list going so you never lose a great idea for fun.

Recreate an old date from the past.

Think of something you both enjoyed in the past and then try to recreate it. How about attending a college football game? Did you spend time together running 5Ks? Or visiting a favorite restaurant—whether a fancy place or a greasy spoon? Whatever it is, it’s a part of your past. So revisit it and keep the memory alive.

Recreate your honeymoon.

Maybe you will and maybe you won’t be able to actually recreate your honeymoon. But you can definitely pull out your wedding photos or watch your wedding video while enjoying a small cake.

Make each anniversary unique.

Each anniversary is a milestone. That’s one more year of being together that you can celebrate! Don’t wait for your busy husband to come up with a plan for this unique day. Give the children an early dinner and an early bedtime, and then have a special meal for just the two of you. And then plan for a special time of intimacy.

And here’s another factor. Very few couples can actually celebrate their anniversary on the actual date. Decide that that’s okay. It’s not the date that’s important—it’s the celebration of another year of marriage that is. So work around commitments and responsibilities and family obligations. Just be sure you celebrate somehow and in some way.

Choose a couples hobby.

I’m sure you can think of a multitude of potential couple hobbies—biking, camping,

chess, and photography are some examples. Experiment and choose what you would like to be yours as a couple. Find a hobby that you both can participate in and enjoy with a minimal amount of training. Remember, some hobbies become more enjoyable as you get better at them or take a few classes together.

Make a list of things you’ve always wanted to do.

What have either of you always wanted to do that can be done together? Pick one. Was it your idea? Then you are in charge of making it happen. Visit that old, musty, used bookstore downtown that has always intrigued you. Then enjoy a cup of coffee at the coffee shop. Take a picnic to a city park.

These are little things...but you can also put some big things on it too, such as having someone take a picture of the two of you at the top of the Eiffel Tower, climbing a local mountain together, redoing your kitchen, …Wow, what fun the two of you will have making your list—a list that spans the globe and unites your hearts...even if you never actually do most of the things on it!

RESPOND

Dear Lord, please spark my heart and my husband’s heart to want to have fun together again. Remind us of the good times we used to have and give us a desire to delight in spending time with one another again. Amen. 

RENEWING RESOURCES 

In A Couple After God's Own Heart Interactive Workbook, Jim and Elizabeth George build on the content of their book, A Couple After God's Own Heart, to create a companion guide that leads husbands and wives through a fascinating study on God's plan for marriage.

REFLECT

What did you and your husband do on your first five dates? Are they activities you can recreate and do together now? 

REMEMBER

Purposefully and willfully making time for fun.