Do you know how some wives follow God’s plan? They become husband-watchers. You see, they know what God says their husbands are supposed to do and be. They know how their husbands are supposed to treat them. But instead of taking care of their own faithfulness to their God-given assignment as wives, they take on the self-appointed role of playing “Holy Spirit” in their husbands’ lives, pointing out their faults and shortcomings. You know…helping! But, maybe we should call it like it really is…attacking!
God teaches us some valuable lessons in His word about our roles in marriage as husband and wife. But, many of us have ignored His guidelines and tried to go it on our own, as I did for the first eight years of my marriage. You are welcome to read some more discussion about God’s roles for both husbands and wives at http://www.elizabethgeorge.com/books/a-wife-after-gods-own-heart/ in an excerpt from my book, A Wife After God’s Own Heart.
I know that when I became aware of both my own and my husband’s roles, I became more understanding of the pressures on him and became a better helper rather than an attacker. A memorable, yet challenging way to reflect on our role as wife includes the list below:
W – Warm up his life with your love
I – Improve his life as a helper
F – Follow his leadership with a willing heart
E – Esteem him highly with utmost respect
Many wives assume a “when…then” attitude. In their hearts (and maybe even verbally), they say, “When he does this or that, then I’ll do this or that.” They postpone obedience to their roles as a wife and make it conditional to that of their husband’s. But God always calls us to first search our hearts. Instead of rating our husbands, let’s check our own score in the “wife department.” How do you fare when it comes to following God’s plan for a wife? Are there any pitfalls in your marriage that may be directly attributed to neglecting to do things God’s way? Is there any tension caused by a failure to adhere to God’s recipe for a happy marriage, a recipe made up of four basic ingredients: help, submit, respect, and love?
So now I ask you to please stop, pray, and revisit God’s blueprint. Refresh your commitment to actively follow His plan for your roles in your marriage. Your commitment to follow God’s plan for a wife makes a tremendous difference. How? It will make a difference in your communication as a couple, in your heart as love for your husband blossoms and abounds, and in the way you treat him with greater respect. It will also improve the climate of your marriage, paving the way for the two of you to dwell together in harmony. Any children will be the blessed inhabitants of a pleasant and peaceful home-sweet-home! When you and I are faithful to follow God’s plan for us, the possibilities are spectacular!
Question: Can you share a marriage situation where turning from an attacker to a helper changed the outcome of the situation?