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Young women are so impressionable, especially today. Peer pressure is no longer something that happens on the schoolyard or visiting a friend. Today it happens on the internet and cell phones. Young girls still diligently perform to earn gratitude, attention, and worth, but the method they receive it, and from whom they receive it, has changed. People they’ve never met, or only speak to through a computer suddenly have an influential role in their lives. It’s bondage. But, this isn’t about removing the gadget or turning off the television. It’s about speaking to the heart of the young woman and allowing God to transform them from the inside out.
We create unrealistic expectations when we only see the approval of man. We take note of what they approve of and do more of that thing and do it even better than we did before. Then we realize that “thing” isn’t as important to us as it is to them, but we’ve already placed our self-worth in that “thing.” Another issue is we’ve taught others to expect this “thing” from us. In this vicious cycle is where we lose sight of our purpose.
Even as Christian woman, it can be difficult to discover our purpose. So many voices shout at us, suggesting lofty and ambitious goals for women. There is something that rises majestically above the clamor; God’s Word.
The good news is God doesn’t ask a thousand or even a hundred things of His women. He only asks us to focus on ten essential things that help us fulfill His grand purpose for those who love Him, who serve others, and who reflect Him to the world. His list, found in Titus 2:3-5, contains these essentials for us to focus our time and energies on.
A habit is a learned behavior. When we do something once, and then again...and again...and again, it becomes routine, an ingrained part of our life. Worrying about the approval of others (people pleasing) is a bad habit that many of us have learned over a period of time. So if we can learn a bad habit, guess what? We can unlearn it and replace it with a good one.
How do you avoid the mental anguish and worry that comes with the temptation to give in to peer pressure, fear of rejection, or fear of persecution? It’s not easy, is it? We’ve all been there, and maybe we’re still there. But it doesn’t have to continue. No, there is hope and help for us.
Here are some things you can do, with God’s help to stop people pleasing.
No runner ever wins a race while distracted by the crowds in the stands. He keeps his eyes riveted on the track and the finish line in front of him. The writer of Hebrews encourages us to “run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith” (Hebrews 12:1-2).
If your focus is on pleasing Christ, you will always say and do the right thing, the God-honoring thing.
You are identified with Christ both in His death and in His resurrection. The apostle Paul explains: “Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts” (Romans 6:11-12). If you see yourself as dead to yourself, along with all your pride, fears, feelings of loneliness, and yearning of acceptance, you won’t be tempted to conform to the world’s standards.
In other words, there is no you. There is only Christ.
The temptation for worldly acceptance comes when you lose sight of your identity. As a believer in Christ you are a kingdom citizen (Philippians 3:20). You are a sojourner and a pilgrim (1 Peter 2:11), merely passing through this life on your way to eternity. So don’t get too settled in a world and a life that is passing away.
This will keep you from worrying and being overly concerned about what people think of you and your Christian standards and beliefs.
God is fully able to enable you to live a victorious Christian life. And He is willing and available to do so. That’s His part. Now it’s up to you to do your part, to focus fully on Him—not others—and live for Him.
Dear Lord, please help me crave only Your approval, and to not worry about pleasing people. I want to live for You alone. Amen.
Do you worry more about what people think or what pleases God?
If your focus is on pleasing Christ, you will always say and do the right thing, the God-honoring thing.
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Jim and Elizabeth George are bestselling authors and national speakers dedicated to helping people live a life after God’s own heart. Together, they have written over 150 books with more than 14 million copies sold around the world. For over 35 years, the teachings and steadfast example of Elizabeth and Jim have helped countless men and women:
Jim and Elizabeth George are bestselling authors and national speakers dedicated to helping people live a life after God’s own heart. Together, they have written over 150 books with more than 14 million copies sold around the world. For over 35 years, the teachings and steadfast example of Elizabeth and Jim have helped countless men and women:
One of my favorite words in the English language is “bittersweet.” It’s sort of like the well-known announcement, “I’ve got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?” This picturesque term always reminds me that many occurrences in life fall simultaneously into the glad/sad category, bringing forth both emotions at once.