Parenting Adult Children

When our children are growing up in our home, we seek to train their spiritual sensitivity so they can “distinguish good from evil” (Hebrews 5:14). We examine what’s going on in our home. We desire to protect them from ungodly influences and dangers. Then they leave the nest.

Godly Adult Parenting

When our children first leave home it’s natural to struggle with our roles as their parent. While we must allow them to grow and mature on their own, we still feel a need to give guidance and direction. However, once your child becomes an adult, your relationship should change. We must trust that the Godly principles we’ve taught them as children will manifest in their adulthood; that those seeds we’ve planted in this good soil will grow and flourish!

As our children reach this stage, we would do well to remember that we are no longer the authority they need to look to. They must seek God and His authority. They must use the wisdom we’ve instilled in them to learn for themselves how to self-discipline and seek God for their direction in life. We can no longer impose our direction upon them.

Responsibilities of Parents of Adult Children

Even though our children are at the stage of life where they must make decisions themselves and face the consequences of those decisions, there are tangible things we can do to assist them.

1. Pray for them. Never stop praying for your children. Though the circumstances may seem dire at times, God’s word does not return void and it accomplishes what it is sent forth to do (Isaiah 55:11). We must trust God’s timing.
2. Adjust your expectations. Sometimes, our expectations are unrealistic. They don’t allow room for our children to grow into their own purpose, and at times they will urge them to rebel against you. If you believe this is happening to you, seek God in prayer on your own behalf. Ask Him to remove the scales from your eyes so you are able to look at the circumstances through His perspective. Make sure your heart is open to this.
3. Rejoice in the little successes. While it may be bittersweet to know our child is able to afford his own apartment, rejoice in that. Especially if it is not the place or location you would have chosen. This is something they’ve accomplished on their own, and it is a stepping stone to something greater for them. Don’t be a stumbling block on their way to God’s plan and purpose for their life. We don’t get to define what their journey looks like.

Trust the Holy Spirit to guide them in this new stage of life, and look for ways to celebrate your kids as they journey through their own life.

RESPOND:

Lord, help me to trust You as my children step out on their own. Thank You for Your faithful leading and guidance. Amen.

RENEWING RESOURCES:

In “A Mom After God's Own Heart”, Elizabeth George offers practical tips and encouraging advice to help you raise children of all ages in the knowledge of the Lord. Get it here.

REFLECT:

What expectations do you have of your adult child that can be adjusted to be more in line with God’s Word? What little successes can you celebrate with them?

REMEMBER:

Once your child becomes an adult, your relationship should change. We must trust that those seeds we’ve planted in this good soil will grow and flourish!