9 Ways to Better Your Marriage

9 Ways to Better Your Marriage by Elizabeth George

When you take time to nurture oneness with your spouse, you bring honor to God. And as an incredible result, you’ll experience the fullness and blessings that God designed for a married couple to enjoy!

Take time now. Read through the following ideas. Set aside five minutes and pray, “Lord, how can I express my love today?”

1. Read your Bible every day

Keep in mind that something is better than nothing, so aim to read your Bible at least five minutes a day of Bible reading. That’s about how long it takes to read one chapter in your Bible. Then, take a few moments to pray.

2. Pray for your spouse three times every day

Pray for your husband in the morning when you wake up, at noon, and at the end of his workday. It’ll be easy to repeat this exercise every day for a week. Then, you’ll want to do it for life!

3. Follow God’s guidelines for good communication

Are your words soft, sweet, suitable, scant, and slow? Begin reminding yourself each day to “put away” speech patterns that don’t match up to God’s standards and ask God to guide you when communicating with your husband. 

Also, identify any speech patterns that must go. Read Jesus’ words about “radical surgery” in Matthew 5:29-30. I remember going through such an exercise (and exorcising!) when I became convicted about screaming at my family. I knew it was wrong and destructive. And yet I did it...until I reached the radical surgery stage. Sure, there were slip-ups and change took a l-o-n-g time! But progress was made day-by-day, word-by-word.

4. Encourage and thank your spouse

Thank your husband for the hard work he does at his job and for your family. Instead of complaining about something he’s left undone, praise him for his diligence, desire to do things excellently, and efforts in providing for you and your family.

Keep your eyes and ears—and your heart!—open for big and small ways to encourage your spouse.

5. Be quick to say you’re sorry

Ideally, both you and your husband are walking humbly with God and apologizing quickly. But whether he does or not, the sooner you can say you are sorry for your temper, for negative responses, for hurtful words, or for sinful attitudes, the better!

This is the quickest and best way to defuse a situation that could get worse or clear up any disturbance in your relationship.

I’ve also learned that if I regularly acknowledge my sin to God, it’s much easier to apologize to my husband because I’m already in the habit of saying “I’m sorry” to God. 

6. Ask how you can help

Every day ask two questions: “What can I do for you today?” and “What can I do to help you make better use of your time today?” Stand by with a notepad and pen in hand, a prayer in your heart, and a willingness to help your spouse in the ways they need.

7. Talk about and schedule sex

How does that sound to you? Cold? Sterile? Unemotional? Lacking in romance? Talking openly with your spouse and planning ahead as a couple can revolutionize your sex life. Intimacy doesn’t just happen. So to ensure that it does for you and your hubby, schedule it. Talking about sex with your calendars in hand also gives you both an opportunity to express the frequency you’d like to see in the Intimacy Department of your marriage.

8. Create a budget

Of course, the best scenario would be for you to create a budget together. But if your husband is not interested or too busy to think it through, make—and keep—a budget for the areas of the family finances where you are involved. Follow these three steps in keeping a budget and become an expert at the financial management of those items in your daily sphere:

  • Determine...a reasonable amount for each category
  • Record...what you spend
  • Wait...until the funds are available

9. Start your day on a high note

Do what you can the night before so everyone isn’t yelling at each other the next morning, when they’re running late and frustrated because they can’t find what they need. Set out clothes and cereal. If anyone takes a lunch, fix as much as you can after dinner. Put school books, backpacks, and briefcases by the front door. And don’t forget the devotional book and Bible!

Everything you do the night before pays huge dividends the next morning! Not frantically rushing allows you to speak kindly, have an unhurried devotional time, and send everyone off in a good mood.

A big part of this is knowing your household’s schedules and setting your priorities every day. Reviewing these each morning will help you keep your marriage, family, home, and job in perspective and running smoothly. Which, of course, betters your relationships!

RESPOND

Dear Lord, please give me Your grace to better my relationship with my husband. Thank You for Your Word and Your Spirit that guide me. Amen.

RENEWING RESOURCES  

A Couple After God’s Own Heart by Jim and Elizabeth George teaches the secrets to a great marriage by learning from biblical couples. Get started by taking our fun free challenge here: 5 Ways in 5 Days to be a Closer Couple.

Pick up this book for couples and workbook today!

REFLECT

Pick one of these 9 topics to focus on this week. Keep a journal of any changes you see for the better in your relationship.

REMEMBER

God’s goal for all of His women—married or single—is that we be a perpetual spring of goodness!


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