Valentine’s Day is next week. Are you dreading seeing friends’ social media posts of bouquets and chocolates, knowing that your husband probably won’t offer such sweet gestures? More than candies and flowers, this holiday can deliver expectations (and disappointment) we have of our significant others.
Here’s an idea … let’s take the pressure off and plan our own celebration. Jesus said to do good for others without expecting to get anything back, and He tells us in John 13:34, “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” What does this kind of love look like? Well, it is a sacrifice of self, which includes our expectations. This can be hard as it’s opposite of how our natural mind (and desires) works.
This kind of love involves effort, not merely emotion. It requires action, not just feeling. Such love comes from God and leads us to being content: “Godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6). Contentment is not based on circumstances, but on the person of Christ. Because we possess all the treasures found in Him, we have all we need. When we learn this type of contentment, it’ll guide our expectations and works.
So let’s put this love into action! Think of something you and your husband both enjoyed in the past and then try to recreate it. It doesn’t have to be dinner and roses. It can be tennis, watching a movie, cooking, whatever. We can keep sweet memories alive ourselves without depending on our husband to come up with a plan. Then, Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, and date nights will be filled with joyful anticipation and without disappointing expectations.
Lord, I acknowledge my expectations and ask for Your forgiveness for resenting my reality. Instead of idly waiting for my desires to materialize, help me proactively make plans that bless my marriage. Amen.
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“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19)
I’ll decide now that it is okay to celebrate Valentine’s Day or our anniversary on another date, when it’s most convenient for everyone’s schedule. It’s not the date that’s important; it’s the celebration of another year of marriage and love that’s important.